Two Things

There are two things that have been pressing in my mind lately. Eating/diet and Confidence.

1. Eating/Diet: Often when I hit a plateau in my weight loss, my mind wanders to diet. And I have read countless articles about "eating clean" and all that, which I think is fantastic and really good for you, but it requires giving up a LOT. Which brings me back into the issue of---is it worth it? I'm pretty sure I could never be a professional body builder on my current diet, no matter how much I exercise, but I am not interested in that anyway. And then I started thinking about the difference in diet from before I got pregnant (size 0)and now, and it is fairly significant. The thing is, I just didn't eat before. I was anxiety-ridden and had a weak stomach, so everything made me feel sick and to be on the safe side, I just ate salad (AND my beloved chocolate, of course!). I could go all day without eating or drinking anything. Then I got pregnant and eating constantly was one of the only things that kept me from being sick! So I gained 65 lbs. After my baby was born, I had gone through so much that I was no longer anxious. All my worries about myself disappeared and I thought only of him. My stomach sensitivities stopped. Same with baby #2. I have been able to eat pretty comfortably since then. So I am thinking that I will never be a size 0 again because now I'm able to eat. I'm okay with that. I want to have an amazingly shaped body with muscle tone. There are some bad foods I could eat less of, yes, but I return to my original statement that I just cannot diet. It's all about eating mostly good stuff and just a little of the bad stuff. That's what I could improve. And all it takes is a little planning, so I'm going to try.
2. Confidence: I think this is the main reason I want to get in shape. I struggle deeply with this issue. If I feel fat or unattractive or anything at all, it just ruins every aspect of my life. I can be very, very, very negative. And I know that absolutely no one notices this stuff even 1% as much as I do, but it still doesn't stop me. Maybe I'm sick in the head? Haha...very likely...but I'm trying. Trying to improve. Trying to feel better.